10. I'd rather just continue taking Aspirin.

9. The weather’s too bad.

8. The weather’s too good.

7. I can chew on the other side.

6. I vibrate on an astral plane that transcends
    concerns of mere physical appearance.

5. I am waiting until I get my tax refund.

4. My insurance company doesn’t care what I look like.

3. I don't want to go to my grave with perfect teeth.

2. If G_d had intended that I have sweet smelling breath,
    She wouldn’t have put plaque between my teeth.

1. Let’s wait until it gets really bad.